Still a teenager?!

Here you see the picture of Sam's blogspot profile and yes it's a cartoon (fitting?)!
http://sam-tom-blog.blogspot.com/


I don't know if you know the run 'the simpsons' , yeah well... it's a picture of Homer Simpson & Tony Hawk, who are skateting. Actually the're skating in the sky ( it's a cartoon, there you can do what you want ). Looks like they both want to win a competition, because they both look very determined, don't they?! I don't know what I should think about this picture! Does it really fit to Sam? No, I don't think so. It's more fitting to the 'old' Sam, it's too childish for him. This picture could have fit to this guy I met at mum's birtday party the first time! But now... so much has happened. He has grown up, he has become an adult!

Somethin' stupid ! - chapter 19

I hate him ... and I still love him. My relationship with Sam is so difficult. I know he only sees a friend in me. And yeah he's also a good friend ... and more for me! He was such an important person for me. He always respected my decision, for example not want to go to college, for example to keep the baby, for example to live together! And now he isn't mine anymore and it's so... so hard to think about a live without him on my side. And it's that I don't only loose him, do I? No, I loose also my dream to be a family. What does he think we should go on with Roof?! He stays with me, that's for sure! He'll miss his dad when we'll live separately. But I'm sure Sam is there for him whenever he needs him. :) And for me?! I hope, I still could call him, if I have a problem. You know just as a firend?! If I could see him as that! We'll see what will happen in the future! You know hopping the best ... but accepting the worst! ;)

Don't like reality - chapter 18

Okay, I think I'll loose Sam for a while! And I miss him already. It's so strange I really thought, that we could be a family and I hoped that we're together forever. But I'm happy that Roof hasn't lost his father. How I know? Sam came round to see Roof today. He was very angry, and then I also got very angry. Haha. But we sad down with my mum and a cup of tea and then Sam begun to talk, about a Prime minister's report and bout fathers who lose touch with their childrens. And Sam, he was so desperate about may losing touch with Roof! I hope now you know what I've meant. He stays with Roof but he leaves me. But I don't want to split up with Sam! Sure I know that it's maybe the best for our relationship, if we split up for a while?! But we have to stay together. Look our past had been so difficult, even now it's difficult, but we solved the problems together. That's connecting!

I'll never understand him! - chapter 17

Can I trust him? I mean sure I trust sam, but isn't it weird?! One week ago Sam got a heavy cold. We decided it would be the best for Roof and for me if Sam slept in an other room. So Sam said he could slep in his own bedroom for one night. And I tought, well... for one night, that's not long, it's okay! ... And now?! Sam is still not here.Whenever he comes round to see Roof we asked if he felt better, but every time he ansered, no! As I already said, weird! How could that be? Maybe he has the flu, a virus, or ... ooh I don't know? To be honest I'm worrying about the situation. What if he'll never come back to live with us?! Or if he runs away like on his trip to hastings? What is if he leaves Roof and me. I love Sam and I love my life with him and Roof, really. I don't want to loose him.

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life. - chapter 15

What does he think who he his? A superstar* ?! Not Roof's father! But hey surprise, surprise he is defently his father. Or... yeah, maybe I had sex before I slept with Sam and didn't get it! He's so stupid, he talks without thinking. And this fucked up guy Jason Gerson can't be Roof's dad, because if I had sex with him, I must have had an elevenmonth pregnancy! But it's not only, that he doesen't trust me, it's more that I'm the idiot of the whole story. Look, he and is mum think I've messed up Sam's life. But what the hell has changed for him?! He comes out every day. He goes to college, meets other people that aren't my parents, me or ... Roof. And I?! Today the longest way I went was a journey into the kitchen. And for what?! To eat! I get fat. Every day I were a track suit but for whom I should make myself pretty?! I mean I love my life with Sam and Roof, no question, but I expected to be a family would be different. But life isn't like a Hollywood blockbuste, is it?!n the end I calmed down and we huged and kissed a little bit. :)


* Maybe you'll ask, why a superstar? Where did this girl get that from? Here's a hint: Stars have always sex with every girl. They have thousands of childrens and then they say, 'Oh no that isn't my child. That's impossible, I have never seen that girl before and I never had sex with Alex.' Haha, too funny ;D

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. - chapter 14

So now we're parents. I don't know how to describe thie feeling. But if you have a child I'm sure you know how I feel. I think I did a pretty good job apart from calling everyone name's who was next to me. ;) I think Sam did also a good job, I mean he had not very much to do, but he stayed cool. It felt good to have him next to me! Rufus is so cute. Mum & Dad said that he looks like me, but I think he looks like his father and I'm really happy about that. Now a new phase of my, of out life has started and I'm excited what will happen in the future!

My feelings of Sam - chapter 13

I don't know if you're surprised if I say that I'm happy to get a baby. And I don't know if you're surprised if I say that I'm glad Sam is the father! But I'm sure you're surprised (and I don't know how good you know me yet) if I say that school doesn't matter for the two of us! Okay I'm not sure if Sam feels the same way, I know he doesen't but I'm really not interested in school or college. Sounds naive?! Yeah maybe but calm down, when Roof is born I'll stay one year at home, then I'll go to college. I'm so excited I like the idea of being a family, of being together with Sam! I LOVE SAM :D