Am I disappointed? - chapter 12

When I was pregnant I thought, that things were going to happen differently.
For example:
- I would live together with Sam.
- Sam would also take some responsibility.
- I would be happy with my life! :(
But the truth is that we don't live together and Sam isn't really interested in me or his son! Yeah, I know ... shit happened! Sometimes he comes round to see Rufus. Like today. I've asked him to take Roof to his jab, but he seemed so confused. To be honest I'm scared of Roof when he's out with his dad. Because Sam doesn't really look after him. Last time they were together I could take Roof to hospital! Yeah I know that doesn't sounds very good. Isn't it funny that my dad thought people like Sam or his family would never go to college? He expected that I would go for sure. Now Sam goes to college and I have no good education. It's not that I'm jealous! No, I never wanted to go to college. And I love Roof - I love him so much! But it's that, that Sam is free. He has only the responsibility of himself. But I'm responsible for the two of us. Rufus and me. But I hope Sam is fine. I still love him. He's still part of my life!

We're family! :) - chapter 11

We're going to be a family: Sam, the baby an I. I like this mind! We're going to live togther in my room. I think Sam doesen't like this idea very much but we decided that it's only fair. All the work: look after the baby; get up at night, when it cries ; feed the baby... And to be honest I want Sam next to me. I don't trust him. Maybe he freaks out again and runs away again ?! And if he lives with me I can see how he feels! I don't want to lose him again. I loved him although he ran away to Hastings, I still love him, and I will love him tomorrow and the day after tomorrow....

The pregnancy means ... ? - chapter 10

Sam and I were at a NCT- class. I had to say what the pragnancy means to me.
Well ... here is my list:

- The first weeks are going to be bad because I'm pretty solidly ill all the time ! :(
- It's going to be hard in school because the pupils are going to slag about me !!!
- I'm going to be together with Sam. :)
- I have to get ready to be an adult or learn to be responsible.
- And: Last but not least being hungry all the time. :D

New or old love?! - chapter 10

It's so strange to know that I'm going to be a mother. And to be honest I still think this thought is strange. But I'm glad Sam is with me. We went together to hospital to scan the baby. And then... on the way home we kissed each other for the first time after we separated from each other. Sounds weird, doesn't it?! I think I fall in love with Sam again. And... I like it. And he likes it. We'll know each other for the rest of our live and he said he liked this mind. That's great!

On the way back home from hospital we walked hand in hand, good sign! :)

Now it comes out! - chapter 9

So I talked to Sam. I wasn't that cool or funny to say 'Congratulations you're going to be a father. Actually one of the youngest father of the world'. No. I started crying even he hadn't opened the door and I think he did imagine what that meant because he wasn't very surprised, when I said that I'm pregnant. I'm glad Sam stayed cool enough not to cry or to freak out because this calm me a little bit down. And he didn't freak out, when I said that I want to keep the baby. I wondered because I expected he would.But that's a thing I've already made my decision. I can't kill my own baby, it's already a human being. And I don't think , that you would go and kill your parents or your siblings, wouldn't you? And he accepts this, even he wouldn't keep the baby. I was too chicken to say my parents, that I'm pregnant and I asked Sam if we could do it together. So it comes that we talked to my parents the next day. And to make a long story short they weren't very thrilled. No, they weren't! They freaked out, but I can't blame them for that. And then we went all together to say it Sam's mum. And she?! She tried to persuade me to abort. But I can't. I can't. I can't! Why can't they accept this? I know that they're worried about Sam's and my future. But I still want to finish school. I know I can handle it!